Friday, November 4, 2011

Notes to myself...

Peter Gibbons said it best.

Note to self: Set some goals.

In an effort to make my goals seem slightly more official, I'm putting them on this blog for all to see. And just for fun, here's the story leading up to this need for goal-getting...

On Nov. 1st, a little over one year ago, I was told by my boss that I was going to be laid off along with another three designers. Well, I was given the ultimatum to commute/move 2.5 hours away to keep my job OR get laid off. I took the latter. The job search begins.

January 28th, last day at my job. Had one phone interview so far that didn't go any further. Unemployment compensation begins soon thereafter. I quickly land another interview for a 2 month gig close to my house that could potentially be full-time. I am offered the job, but weigh my options and decline. I am afraid of being laid off again in 2 months time.

Months pass...more interviews, I get offered a couple jobs but decline as it's early in my job hunt and I think I can land something better. But then I don't. After so many dead ends, I start emailing area horse barns, offering to lend a hand. Many answer and say thanks but no thanks, but one offers me a part-time gig. Ta-dah, and we are here.

Now, in these months and months that feel like YEARS, I toy with the idea of trying to just take charge of my work and try to squeeze as much profit as I can from it. Unfortunately, depression is an ugly beast that steals the passion you have for anything and smothers it. Art was a chore to me and that was bad. I literally just stopped caring. I just wanted a job that would help me pay my loans and give me some health insurance. Easier said than done.

I miss being excited about my work. I miss being excited about anything in my life. This year has been the hardest for both me and Lee. I've realized that the way this economy is, no one is going to throw me a rope. Unfortunately. In the words of actor/director/hockey fan/writer Kevin Smith "I have to go where the puck is going to be, not go where it was."

I'm done dragging myself behind everyone hoping that someone will slow down the bus and let me on. I'll just build my own bus. It may not look pretty at first, and it will probably break down several times, but it's my bus and I can drive it the way I want. And I can bring Lee and Cherry with me for the ride.

So, the goals? Debut new products/work at the CCAD show and see if it's well received or not. Keep creating things that I find exciting and interesting. Read up on other artists I admire, see what they did, where they started. Working through depression and stress is a big, big challenge. That's for sure.

Sorry for such a lengthy and insightful post, my dear readers. But thank you for listening.

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